After They’re Done With You (Part 1)
It’s time to read #4 of the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date: Your date keeps texting friends about plans for later that night after they’re done with you.
“After they’re done with you.” Oh that’s classy. And it’s a quote too, by the way. (Remember the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date come from real life experiences.)
If this ever winds up being your real life experience, try this simple 2-step remedy:
- Text your date this message: tel yr fs dat ur dun ryt now.
- Leave. Either go home and spend some time with the God who loves you (and will never be done with you) or go over to a friend’s house.
OK, so that’s the game plan, but it doesn’t exactly make everything better. Why?
Because you’ve still been rejected. And that stinks.
Your date may stink, but it hurts to be rejected. Even by a date who stinks. So in this weekend’s Date Night Advice I wanted to talk about rejection.
Fortunately for you, I’ve had a LOT of experience with rejection. I’m not saying I’d win the award for “Most Rejected.” Maybe you’ve been rejected more, but please don’t blow off my advice. I’m not sure I could handle it.
Truth be told, I was dying for a girlfriend starting back in 3rd grade when I fell in love with Sarah Bakely*. And Sarah was merely the first love interest to indicate no interest in me. I never actually got a girlfriend until my Junior year in college. That’s 12 years of dating rejection.
In fact, I couldn’t even get a first date until college. I did manage to find the courage to ask two different girls out during my high school career. But Angie and Natalie both chose to give me the “I’d really rather just be friends” speech, rather than endure even a first date with me. (Ouch!)
The two invites were about a year apart, because it took me about a year to get over each rejection. Indeed, Angie’s rejection involved this weird love rectangle with Tony and Tracy and was so emasculating I share it in my “Friends Don’t Let Friends Date Dumb” discussion series. If I have enough time I even use a PowerPoint diagram to detail how things went down. Let’s just say, if you have to use a diagram to explain a failed dating expedition, you might need therapy.
However, let me be a little more vulnerable with you. I’m actually dealing with a far more painful rejection right now. Of course it’s not first date-related. It’s actually a good guy friend with whom I had been meeting almost weekly for accountability and encouragement for many years. When we started our relationship he was dealing with some pretty serious personal and family issues. Then as he was coming out of his valley, Julie and I were heading into our foster scare trial where we had to fight a broken government system for two years in order to adopt our two youngest children. As you might imagine, we grew pretty close through all of that.
At least I thought so. Unfortunately, I haven’t heard a single word from him since July 9. How do you go from years of meeting almost weekly (and talking even more frequently), to no contact whatsoever in over a 2 month period of time?
I realize you might have had a dating interest disconnect from you like this, and for that I’m truly sorry. However, if you’ve ever had one of your closest friends leave you high and dry, you know it hurts deeply.
So what are we to do, other than feel sorry for ourselves? And bitter?
Let me know your thoughts, and I’ll share mine next weekend in Date Night Advice.