Are You Already Married… to Porn?

Know what probably saved me from a serious porn addiction?

The internet.

You see, the internet wasn’t around in my teens and 20s when my hormones were raging like a mad bull in heat. So I couldn’t get ready access with complete anonymity. And that was my salvation.

But if you’re in your teens or 20s today, the existence of internet porn in these formative years may be why you do have a serious porn addiction.

Of course, the internet doesn’t make us sin. It just makes it easier.

Far easier.

But freedom is possible. I’m not the only one who’s found it. And sometimes the allegorical kick we need in the proverbial pants, is simply to understand what porn is doing to us. How it’s impacting us. It sure motivated me to break free.

On that note, the purpose of this post is to suggest that just maybe one of the things porn is doing to you right now is destroying your chance at ever enjoying a life-giving, life-long marriage. Because in the vast majority of the world today it’s still the case that…


You can only marry one person at a time, and if you’re spending a significant amount of time with porn it’s a good bet you’re already married to it.


Not legally married, but dedicated to it and dependent on it none the less.

Love, Honor and Cherish

The traditional marriage vows promise we will love, honor and cherish our spouse. And that’s precisely what we do with porn when we choose it over relationships with real people, be it your spouse, roommate, family, co-workers or friends.

I’ll go ahead and admit, as I have in this space before, I loved porn. Hardly anything made me fell like it did. It’s like it always know how to make me feel special.

And late at night when I should have been honoring my need to work, or sleep or pray (that I would not enter temptation, for instance), I honored porn instead. I would invest hours honoring it.

And I cherished it to. I would think about it throughout the day. Looking forward to the time when I could be with it again. I was even ritualistic about preparing for our time and then guarding that time. Making sure we could be alone together, just me and porn, so I could give porn my undivided attention.

Can you see how this doesn’t work out well for a married man?

Can you see how it won’t work out well for you either, even if you’re not married?


If you’re happy with porn, I understand the feeling. She’s quite a charmer, but she won’t stay faithful to you. It’s not in her to love, honor or cherish you. She doesn’t even know you. And mark my words: if you keep trusting her one day she’ll betray you.


Of course, if all you needed in life was sexual release, then I suppose you could do without the love, honor and cherishing part. But I think you know you were made for more. And more is what this post is offering you.

Do you suspect that you may already be married to porn?

If so, there’s help! You can check out our Hot Topic page dedicated to freedom from porn, but I also hope you’ll check out this 2-part series I wrote for Covenant Eyes:

Even if you’re a female struggling with porn you’ll hopefully relate to the truths shared there.

And regardless of your gender, race or nationality, let us know how we can pray for you!


DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better? And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!

Categories: Learn from My Mistakes, PORN