Beyond Sex & Salvation 2: Life Disciplines

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Beyond Sex & Salvation – Part 2 presents the three key life disciplines you want to begin mastering before you fall in love. Even before you date.

These are habits you’ve likely been encouraged to develop in the past, but lacked the motivation. However, when you discover the essential role these three disciplines play in preparing for a life-giving, lifelong marriage, you may find the inspiration you’ve been looking for.

Among other benefits, these disciplines will empower you to:

  • Draft a sound blueprint for healthy relationships (dating, marriage and otherwise)
  • Establish the mindset necessary to thrive in long-term, sacrificial relationships
  • Grow in the invaluable skill of communication.

Determine to commit to these disciplines now and set yourself up for relational success with family and friends, at school and work, and in dating and marriage.

What are the 3 Life Disciplines?

We share all three life disciplines in an extremely abbreviated form in our LoveEd YouTube series beginning with this episode.

Book Excerpts:

Still need more convincing that Beyond Sex & Salvation offers juicy, wholesome goodness that can empower you to succeed in relationships?

Want to read a little bit first?

Check out these blog posts from our Date Night Advice (DNA) which are taken right out of the book itself. And more to come over the next few weeks.

Know What You’re Building BEFORE You Date!

Did you know you already have a rough blueprint of what your future marriage will be like? You do!

Know where you got it?

Your parents.

Don’t remember getting it? Well, before you call and ask about it, understand this blueprint was never printed on large, thin, blue pages. That’s not how parents give their children their marital blueprint.

Parents pass down their own special marital blueprint by simply living out their marriage in front of their kids. In other words, the marital blueprint your parents gave you is the blueprint they followed themselves, which is likely a version of the marital blueprint they received from your grandparents.

Perhaps that marital blueprint makes room for an emotions closet where you can stuff all your hurt, confusion and anger. (Make it roomy, or its contents might spill out into the accompanying bedroom.) Maybe it includes… [READ MORE]

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Don’t Fall in Love. Grow!

One of the most precious dialogues you’ll ever witness in any movie takes place in Mr. Holland’s Opus. In the scene, the wife of the main character, Jack Holland, reveals to him that she’s pregnant (when they weren’t trying).

He’s clearly in shock upon hearing the news, which of course, is never the sort of reaction an unexpectedly expectant mother is looking for from her husband.

But then he makes the “save.”

He starts off by telling her about the first time he heard a record from jazz saxophonist John Coltrane. (Coltrane wasn’t just a jazz musician; he pioneered modal jazz, a newer, more avant-garde form of jazz.) Jack confessed that he didn’t like Coltrane at first, but he listened to it again and again and again and eventually he grew to love it – a lot.

Then he says these words: “You tell me we’re going to have a baby; and that’s like hearing John Coltrane for the very first time all over again.” To which she replies, “If that’s a lie, it’s the sweetest lie I’ve ever heard.” (And he’s out of the doghouse.)

Oh that I could convince you in this short lesson: if you will read God’s word again and again and again, you’ll grow to love it more than John Coltrane. You’ll grow to love it more than your favorite artist, song, movie, person, place or thing. Give it time! [Read More]

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Is Marriage Worth It?

Future Marriage University actually started out in our living room as a 14-week marriage class led by my wife and I for singles. In these intimate same-gender groups, students felt comfortable to say what they really thought. And many times we heard comments like this: “If marriage is really going to be that hard, I’m not sure I want to be married.”

My early response at the time was, “If you really feel that way, then don’t get married. Don’t even date. Until you change your mind.”

Perhaps those words were a little tough, but I don’t think it was bad advice. Marriage is hard and if you don’t want to work hard at it, you are better off not starting what you’re not committed to completing.

Your would-be spouse will be better off, too. Ditto for any kids you might have had. (And do I need to throw the whole world in, while I’m at it?)

Over time, I began to develop a different answer. [READ MORE]

Why Sin is Fun

Some think being a Christian is all well and good, but you still have to live a little, right?

What does this sentiment say about the perception of where life is found?

The world says that life comes from sin. The partying lifestyle of binge drinking, uninhibited sexuality and recreational drugs – this is life. Buying things you don’t need with money you don’t have to impress people you don’t like – this is life. No restrictions, no consequences and no guilt – this is life. Breaking all the rules, taking all you can, faking all you have to – this is life.

The Bible, on the other hand, says sin brings death.

Who’s right? Who are you going to believe? [READ MORE]

Biggest Dating Mistake Christians Make (Spoiler Alert: It isn’t Sex!)

What I’m about to say may not be very popular, but watch the popular decisions of the popular people you know and you’ll find things generally don’t turn out too well for them in the end. This may not be what you want to hear, but please receive the following words in the protective spirit in which they were intended. If you are spiritually healthy, you have no business whatsoever even dating, much less pursuing marriage with, a partner who is not spiritually mature.

If you can’t find potential mates with a wholehearted commitment to the Lord, ask God what He wants to give you instead. Many times God doesn’t provide what we want, but always what we need. Always.

Q: Can I just hang out with spiritually immature singles of the opposite gender? [READ MORE]

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Still Wanting More?

That’s why I wrote the discipleship series, so why not buy the book?!

You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!


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