When your Date doesn’t know how to Whisper
What can you learn from the TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date? As legend would have it, an awful lot.
This week we look at #6 – Your date keeps “whispering” inappropriate comments like “Do you think those guys are gay?” loud enough for the people at other tables to hear… including the gay guys in question.
Wow, issues galore! I’m sure this was an incredibly embarrassing experience for the individual out on their first date with Loudmouth, but it’s really not a crime not to know how to whisper. It’s a great talent to master, but many get by without it and go on to live happy (albeit LOUD) lives.
However, though volume control may have made the evening awkward for their date and perhaps insulting for others, would it really have been better if all the same inappropriate comments had been made in a whisper no one else could hear?
- “Do you think those guys are gay?”
- “Whoa Nelly! That dude is a perfect contestant for the Biggest Loser.”
- “I think that boy has downs.”
- “Can you believe what she’s wearing?”
To some these comments may represent innocent curiosity, a sense of humor or a sincere fashion concern. But they also represent gossip.
What’s wrong with that?
Generally nothing. Unless you’re the person that’s being gossiped about.
Then most people (even the biggest busybody on the block) don’t seem to approve of gossip so much.
The Bible actually has some interesting things to say about gossip (all from the NIV):
- A perverse man stirs up dissension, and a gossip separates close friends. – Prov 16:28
- A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid a man who talks too much. – Prov 20:19
- Without wood a fire goes out; without gossip a quarrel dies down. – Proverbs 26:20
Gossip isn’t merely something frowned upon in Proverbs. Gossip completely violates the law of love: “Do to others as you would have them do to you.” (Luke 6:31 NIV)
Might I make a suggestion? Before you share any information or opinion about someone else, ask yourself, “Would I want the same information or opinion shared about me?” (And by the way, this question applies just as much to the Hollywood star that just came out of the closet as it does to the two gay guys at table twelve.)
So what’s the point? Perhaps we shouldn’t beware of people who can’t control their volume nearly as much as those who can’t control their tongue.
As I’ve said before, we all have our issues! None of us is perfect, so if that’s what you’re looking for in your date save yourself further disappointment and join a monastery or convent.
However, for someone to conduct themselves in this way on a first date shows more than a lack of tact it shows a severe lack of self control.
Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire, a world of evil among the parts of the body. It corrupts the whole person, sets the whole course of his life on fire, and is itself set on fire by hell. – James 3:5b-6
And on that note, I’m now going to get on my knees and confess my poor tongue control and ask for God’s strength to be made perfect in my weakness. Then maybe I’ll love people more than I talk about them (whether I think they might be gay or not).
Care to join me?
- How big a temptation is gossip for you?
- Got any tips for reigning in your tongue?
- So do you think those guys are gay? (OK. Bad joke. Now I have to pray again.)
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!