End Your Search for THE ONE

There are those who believe God has told them who they will marry. And some of them wind up doing just that. Others can’t seem to convince the other person of “God’s will.”

Then there are those who search indefinitely for “The One,” like Ponce de León on the quest for the Fountain of Youth. Some of them wind up never marrying. While others marry early. And marry often. Believing each time their search is over. Until the marriage is over. And they have to start over.

God didn’t tell me who to marry, but I do believe He has told me a few other things.

For instance, in March of 2014, I sensed God asking me to start making videos designed to empower the wise individual (college student, youth or young adult) to prepare for their future marriage the way they would a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE!

In other words, instead of guiding the lonely heart in finding “The One” magical person they were made to marry, we’re called to empower the wise individual to prepare to be “The One” that can thrive in a life-giving, life-long marriage.


Preparing for marriage is a far different goal, than searching for a marriage partner.


It seemed to me like many were doing a lot of searching, without a thought to the preparation. And therein, I believe is the cause of the implosion of marriage in our culture.

After a couple months of praying about making those videos (nope I did not exactly jump right on it), I sensed God wanted my wife, Julie, to be a part of the show.

The only problem with that? She hates that kind of thing. She’s perfectly content for me to stand on the stage and make a fool of myself. All by myself (like Celine Dion or this dude stranded at the Vegas airport).

Fortunately, God was able to tell Julie about His desire for her involvement Himself. (Better Him than me.)

And He did tell her. (There’s a tip hidden in that previous sentence for anyone who believes God has told them who they will marry.)

Now, after publishing over 120 episodes of LoveEd with Julie & MJ, we just passed a huge milestone for us: one of our videos has broken 1,000 views.

Will God Tell You Who to Date?

We realize that’s not exactly going viral. More like growing very, very slowly, but clearly the video is answering a question many are asking: Will God tell you who to date?

If it’s a question you’ve been asking, you can check out our insight in the video yourself. (Maybe you’ll be the 1,100th viewer. Or the 100,000th. Hey! A guy’s gotta dream.)

However, understand this: ultimately God’s will for you is not to give you His will. Instead, He wants to give you something infinitely greater than a spouse or a family or a career or a 401K. And certainly far greater than a date for the weekend.

What We Forget About God’s Will

If you don’t know what in the world could be bigger than all of that, you want to check out this short excerpt from a recent Future Marriage University speaking engagement on the campus of LeTourneau University in Longview, TX.

The Secret to Finding “The One”

And if you truly want to know the secret to finding “The One,” you’ll want to watch the entire message at this link:

Are You Ready to End the Search?

Have you spent the last several years of your life (or your whole life) searching for “The One?” Have you had your heart broken into enough tiny little pieces enough times?

Are you ready to try something different?


What if the end of your search begins with changing your goal from searching for “the one” to preparing to be “the one?”


What would that look like? Well, a whole lot less desperate for one thing. More than that, it holds the potential of being as life-giving, as it will prove life-changing.

For specifics, check out our Hot Topic page dedicated to learning what makes for healthy relationships.

End your search for “The One,” and start preparing! An adventure of self-discovery (and God discovery) awaits! And, perhaps, so does “The One.”


DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!

Categories: Stop Looking for The One and BECOME The One