How to Save a Marriage


“It takes a little time sometimes, to get the Titanic turned back around.”

I know those aren’t the lyrics from the 12 Days of Christmas, but they came to mind as I thought about several great guys I care about deeply who are struggling deeply in their marriage this holiday season.

How do you save a marriage?

Most people think of marital counseling, prayer, the support of good friends and families and more marital counseling. And with that, many marriages are saved every year from the icy depths of divorce.

But “it takes a little time sometimes, to get the Titanic turned back around.” Indeed, for many couples it takes years; perhaps decades to salvage their marriage.

But what if there were another way to save a marriage? Perhaps not easier, but far less painful. At least more proactive.

I don’t know if the irony of that song was intentional or not, but the fact is they never quite managed to turn the Titanic around.

It sank. In less than 2 1/2 hours.

But as we contemplate how we might save a marriage, it’s interesting to take note of why the Titanic went down. It wasn’t an iceberg. It was pride and naive.

The Titanic sank, precisely because it was believed it couldn’t.

And because it was considered unsinkable, it was captained accordingly, without the caution that would have been exercised with any other ship in icy waters.

How many couples feel that way standing at the altar, like their marriage will prove unsinkable? And then they proceed accordingly, without the discretion and care one should reasonably expect to exercise in any long-term sacrificial relationship, much less a life-giving, life-long marriage.

An iceberg did not strike the Titanic. The Titanic struck an iceberg. This after receiving, not one, not two, but six warnings of sea ice.  And still it was traveling near maximum speed when it hit.

The Titanic may have sunk on May 15, 1912, but it was doomed the moment it left shore. That’s where romantic sensibilities take you.

At Future Marriage University (FMU) we believe the same thing holds true for many marriages. And while we believe God could resurrect even the Titanic, he’s called us to save marriages before they happen. Before a couple falls in love. Preferably before they meet! And we do this by empowering college students, youth and young adults to prepare for marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE!

That way the wise individual can be thoroughly equipped to set sail upon the high seas of marriage before their little Love Boat ever leaves the harbor! Even better, before they ever set out on the wild adventure of dating!

We invite you to join us in saving marriages this holiday season!

Will you?

For starters, you can sign up for our prayer email list by emailing us here. Beyond that, you can make a year-end, tax-deductible donation by clicking the link below.

Further, our latest LoveEd video shares a different metaphor explaining why we have such a blast sharing practical, passionate, Biblical truth about sex, dating and relationships. As you watch, you can better understand the vision and mission God has given us and how you can pray for us! Let us know how we can pray for you this holiday season and in the New Year!

 DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!

Categories: Christmas