Let’s Get Intimate

dna-lets getBack when I was ten years old, Olivia Newton John released the hugest pop hit of the moment: Let’s Get Physical.

And as a result, every single public school variety show featured at least one group of prepubescent girls aerobicizing to that song. (And apparently, as seen in this video, the popularity of the song has continued to hold in parts of Asia, and it now appeals to an even younger crowd than when I was a kid.)

Be that as it may, if you listen to the lyrics, aerobics wasn’t the kind of physical exertion Olivia had in mind. (God bless the innocence of youth.) Yep. Shocker. She was singing about sex.

Today, the opposite confusion takes place whenever you mention the word “intimacy.” Most assume you’re talking about getting physical. That is to say, sexual.

This couldn’t be more tragic, because our heart’s gnawing need for true intimacy – the kind that’s at once relational, emotional and spiritual – runs deep. Far deeper than our yearning for sexual or romantic intimacy.

We talk about this deeper desire in a discussion series called Relation^ology. In fact, this Fall I’m taking two different groups through that discussion series (one Dad’s group and one high school group) and I thought you might like to join us!

How you ask? Well first by reading the same posts that we will be covering, and then joining in the discussion by commenting or asking questions below the appropriate posts.

Even better? Discuss your thoughts and questions offline with your friends or in your own #LoveEd small group. It could be a group of college students, youth, young adults, Dads or political pundits.

Our first session, covers these four posts:

1: What is the Purpose of Love?

Where do we uncover what true intimacy is all about? Why in the passage popularly referred to as “The Love Chapter” of the Bible: 1 Cor 13. In fact, in this post we mine this scripture to discover the preeminence, the personality, the permanence, the perfection and the purpose of love.

2: Imperative Questions that Only Intimacy can Answer

To live the life you were meant to live, there are two questions you must answer CORRECTLY. In this post we reveal what those questions are and the role healthy, intimate relationships play in answering them.

3: Are You Afraid of Commitment… or Something Else?

We desperately want to grow closer to others, but we don’t think we can afford to get too close. We’re afraid to let our guard down and allow someone to get to know who we really are. In this post, we discuss this phobia and come to the conclusion that our fear runs deeper than commitment.

4: Beware the Intimacy Impostors

What are the intimacy impostors and why do we let ourselves be fooled by their childish disguises? And what happens when we are fooled. Again? That’s precisely what we introduce in this post. And, with that, we set the stage for the seven intimacy impostors we will address over the course of this study.

Let’s talk about it!

Sound like fun? Join the conversation!

After reading the above posts, feel free to share your comments below each individual post or discuss and then share your thoughts on these questions in the comment section below:

  • Prior to this look at 1 Cor 13, what had you considered to be the purpose of love? What purpose does the world seem to think love serves?
  • Do you see the kind of intimacy described in 1 Cor 13:12 elsewhere in scripture?
  • Where have you looked to discover your purpose and identity? What wrong answers have you gotten?
  • Was there someone in your life who helped you find your identity and purpose or do you feel like you’re still looking?
  • Have you ever said, “I’m afraid of commitment”? Do you think that’s really what you’re afraid of? Why or why not?
  • Is letting someone know the “real you” scary? If so, why? (list the reasons) If not, who knows the “real you”? (list them)
  • If you’ve been hurt by loved ones in the past, what have you done to deal with that hurt? Is there a next step you feel you should take? Would you pray for the courage to take that step?
  • If these things are required for intimacy (commitment, intentionality, selflessness, insight, time, and vulnerability) where would you say you are weakest? Strongest?
  • Without having shared any intimacy impostors yet, what other relational need(s) do you suspect you seek out or settle for over life-giving intimacy?

Or if you prefer, speak your mind over on Facebook or Twitter.

Hope you will join us this Fall as we walk through Relation^ology together. Can’t wait to see your questions and insight. Click here for the next class segment featuring the first two intimacy impostors.

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!

Categories: Intimacy Impostors, Relation^ology, SEX