Sex and Taxes

Sex-Taxes-e1460564641689-1024x1024Did you ever notice the letters that spell the word “sex” are in the word “taxes?”

Indeed, the word “sex” appears backwards!

Forwards: TAXES

Backwards: SEXAT

There it is! “Taxes” spelled backwards reads “sex at.” Which begs the question: sex at where?

What does it all mean? We have a crack team of highly-trained former IRS agents working on that.

Speaking of the IRS (and this is when things really get weird), look what happens when you spell out “IRS” backwards and add an extra letter “I.”

Forwards: IRS

Backwards (with an extra “I”): SIRI

What you feared was true all along. Apple isn’t really at odds with the federal government. Apple is actually in bed with the IRS!!!

Speaking of being “in bed,” let’s all calm down and put the conspiracy theories to rest. Then give yourself a tax break and enjoy this reprise of…

TOP5 Things Sex has in Common with Taxes

#5: Certainty
Old Ben Franklin liked to say the only things certain in this world are death and taxes. I’d like to add “sex” to that list. After all, if you’re reading this it’s certain that somewhere around nine months prior to your birth you were first conceived, and unless you’re Jesus of Nazareth (or a test tube baby), that conception required sex. If I’m lying I’m dying. Speaking of lying, do you know the Five Sex Lies?

#4: Cheating
You may get away with tax evasion, but according to the Apostle Paul, sexual fraud is more like trying to cheat death. You’re simply not going to get away with it (1 Thes 4:3-6). Still the temptation to cheat in both these areas is ginormous! And, in case you didn’t know, you don’t have to be married to cheat sexually. Are you already cheating?

#3: Emotions
Few things elicit as much emotion as sex and taxes. Different emotions, but similar in intensity. Can I get an “Amen”?

#2: Exemptions
The more kids you have, the more exemptions you get to claim on your tax return. The more exemptions, the less you pay in taxes. And of course, we all know from whence those crazy kids come. As a Father of five blessed little exemptions, I praise God there’s at least one thing in our culture that still rewards caring for our future generation.

#1: Complexity
Trying to follow the instructions for filing my taxes is like trying to follow a 2-year-old’s train of thought. I’m lost within the first thirty seconds. Sex is also quite complicated. (Proverbs 30:18-19) I mean the general idea is a no-brainer, but it seldom flows nearly as seamlessly as it appears in the movies. Indeed, the relational intimacy, emotional security and physical prowess necessary to achieve a mutually satisfying experience is what makes the hook-up culture such a bad idea and life-long marriage such a brilliant one.

Happy Tax Day! If you need more help with that you’ll have to look elsewhere, but if you’d like more Bible-based advice on sex, try out one of these posts:

DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better?  And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!

 

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