The Supermodel Marriage Myth
Perhaps the holiday season, when we’re encouraged to dream like children, isn’t the best time to introduce a reality check. But then again, if I found out someone was trusting in Santa for their salvation, what kind of person would I be if I never pulled the fake beard off that fallacy?
I’d be the kind of person you should feel justified in hanging from the tallest evergreen in town. And then burying with a stake of holly through his heart.
Well, there is a certain pipe dream I’d like to debunk, not because I’m the Grinch who stole happiness, but because I don’t want this lie to keep stealing the happiness of so many.
I call it the Supermodel Marriage Myth.
It’s a compelling illusion believed by both beauties and beasts around the globe. And it’s keeping millions from marriage. Millions waiting for “the one” who fits their job description of “hottest hottie that ever hotted.”
But the research is in, and “hotness” simply never shows up as an advantage in making a long-term, sacrificial relationship, like marriage, work. You read that right! Physical appearance is not a determining factor when it comes to relationship satisfaction nor longevity.
So what am I saying? Marry some beast, hoping they’ll be transformed by your love into the most charming of princes or princesses?
Only if your name is Belle or “the beast” and you live in a Disney movie. Otherwise, I’m simply urging you to put “hotness” somewhere down the priority list when you’re considering your dating options.
As for what qualities one should prioritize above “hotness?” Let me count the ways! Actually, I list 10 different things you want to know about your date (beyond their sex appeal, of course) in this post: Why You Don’t have Time to Make Out on a Date.
Finally, that post is actually one in a series entitled Purpose-Driven Dating, where we suggest an approach to dating that might make a lot more sense than what you’ve been doing.
It’s worth a look-see.
You can check out that entire series on our YouTube channel , beginning with this LoveEd video:
Each video in Purpose-Driven Dating has recommended readings below it, so you can go deeper and grow wiser in relationships. Just think of the difference it could make next year if you got smarter about dating!
Any burning question we could answer for you? We’ve gotten several from our recent series on Relation^ology (ranging from self-control to sex toys). We’ll be addressing those here on our Date Night Advice or in our LoveEd video blog. We’d love to address yours too!
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better? And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!