Dating

Let us make it really simple. At Future Marriage University (FMU) we believe that if dating is supposed to eventually lead to your future marriage, the same way college is supposed to eventually lead to your future career, then dating ought to be approached with a little sober-mindedness. But just like college, it should also be (and can be) a lot of fun!

How do you find the balance? Here are some of our top Date Night Advice (DNA) blog posts and LoveEd and MAN2MAN videos on the topic to empower you to do just that:


Series: Dating 101

This 10-post DNA series is written with the big picture in mind. Every post in this series is designed to give you a vision of dating that’s as meaningful as it is memorable (the good kind of memorable). Here’s the post that summarizes the entire series:

What’s Your Vision for Dating?

Where there is no vision, the people are unrestrained, But happy is he who keeps the law. Proverbs 29:18 (NASB)

And in one sentence we discover where we went wrong with dating.

No vision.

No idea of what dating is supposed to accomplish.

And everyone does what is right in their own eyes.

Confused and muddled intentions leading to even even more confusing and muddled relationships. “It’s complicated,” we state matter-of-factly in our social media profile and leave it at that. As if it can’t be helped. As if it doesn’t bother us that much anyway.

And if that’s your perspective then this isn’t your post, but if you believe that God just might have called you to a dating life marked by both passion and purpose then please read on!


Series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date

At FMU, we don’t try to lay down a narrow definition of why we think you should be dating.

That’s not nearly as fun as presenting several reasons you should NOT be dating.  And we do just that in this 39-post blog series named after one of our most well-received presentations: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date.

Some of the TOP10 will be obvious to most, but still many succumb. Other reasons may at first blush seem legit, but perhaps you’ll see them in a different light when we have a second blush – ah look.

This post gives a quick summary of all ten:

Don’t Date like a Dummy

DNA-dummy larsWhether you have found dating to be a tad daunting or whether your dating life is a complete disaster, I pose this question: Would you like to thrive throughout your dating experience?

Truth is, I merely survived the dating process. I emerged with an amazing wife who, after 20+ years, is still my best friend, but I made many missteps. Ridiculous missteps that would have never been made had I examined and understood the motives which drove me to date.

I believe you can thrive in your dating experience if you understand and commit to avoiding these ten dating blunders. But it’s going to take more than one quick post to do that. That’s why I spent the majority of last year walking through the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date in our Date Night Advice (DNA) blog.

Now, here for the first time, I share all ten in one post, with hyperlinks for each dumb reason, so you can drill down and understand the motives of which you suspect you might be guilty. [read more]

And here’s the first of three videos in the LoveEd YouTube series: TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date, if you like things like videos.


Series: Purpose-Driven Dating

After presenting the TOP10 Dumbest Reasons to Date in front of enough audiences I had a recurring question: “What does SMART dating look like?” This series is our answer to that question. Here’s the first of 21 DNA posts in our Purpose-Driven Dating series:

The Lost Art of Dating

dna-lost art of datingWe were made for relationships. We were made to know and be known by the most important people in our lives. And through those relationships we are called to maturity!

Having said all of that, if the bad news about dating is that it’s lost it’s purpose, than the good news is that dating can work if we rediscover that purpose!

Just think about this: what if your dating life could reflect the reality that you were born to make friends more than to make out?

What if dating became, once again, a step into maturity? And what if it could be that, and still be fun? Even better, what if dating could be a truly meaningful, life-enriching experience, instead of some sort of minefield you had to tip-toe through hoping to reach the other side alive. With a mate. One you actually wound up still liking on your 50th anniversary? [read more]

Don’t want to read? Watch our LoveEd YouTube series: Purpose-Driven Dating series which begins with this video:


Series: TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date

They say the wise person learns from their mistakes, but the wiser person learns from the mistakes of others. If that’s true, then this series presents a golden opportunity for your relationship life! Here’s the TOP10 Signs You’re on Bad First Date, as presented on LoveEd:

Want to go deeper?

Here’s the start of the TOP10 as presented in our DNA blog. When you click on the link to read more you’ll go to the full post which is embedded with hyperlinks that allow you to click through to any of 23 other posts unpacking the lessons we can learn from each first date FAIL!

TOP10 Signs You’re on a Bad First Date

TOP10 Signs Bad First DateBelieve it or not, this week’s Date Night Advice comes from actual experiences of real life people (names in parentheses). Read, laugh and learn.

#10 – Your date’s opening line is either:
“OK,let’s get this over with.” (Matt)
-OR-
“Are you a parking ticket cuz you got finewritten all over you!” (Candi)

#9 – After picking you up, your date stops by their mom’s place for cash to pay for dinner. (Claudia)

#8 – Your date takes a call from their ex, and after cussing them out right in front of you, hangs up and says sweetly, “I’m sorry, where were we?” (Matt) [Read More]


How to Know if You’re Ready to Date

We actually answer this question in the middle of the Purpose-Driven Dating series, but if you want to just jump right to that question, check out one of this MAN2MAN memo.

Yes, our MAN2MAN memos are directed to men (obviously), but regardless of your gender (And who knows what their gender is anymore, anyway?) we’ll present three main issues you want to consider before you set out on the wild adventure of dating.


How to Ask Someone Out

dna-check-yes-or-noSeriously, let’s call the whole romantic metanarrative of our modern’ society what it is: broken, ineffective, foolish. Can we do that?

I do a lot of reading on this subject and best I can tell, there’s finally something on which homeschooling Mennonite farmers and philosophizing, atheist hipsters can agree: for all of the “sophistication” and “enlightenment” of contemporary culture, the generally accepted ritual for how two people couple up, commit, copulate and care for the product of conception isn’t working.

The latter may believe that’s because the old customs are outdated, and the former because they have been perverted, but both agree it’s time to try something different! [read more]


How to Enjoy Dating without Freaking Out

dna-enjoy datingYour pulse is racing, palms sweaty and head spinning.

And that’s only after composing your first text:

“Doing anything Sat nite?”

Your thumb hovers over the SEND button. How in the world will you EVER make it through the first date?

STOP!

Before you press SEND, hit REWIND and read this post! [Read More]


Great Dates don’t Happen by Accident

DNA-Great Dates Not AccidentAt Future Marriage University (FMU) we believe something extraordinary: that dating can be both fun and meaningful.

However, it can’t be that way by accident.

If you want a dating life that’s both fun and meaningful, you have to date smart. That’s why every single week at the FMU main offices we serve up Date Hacks to help you get the most out of your dating life.

Here are just six… [read more]


Concerned about Purity?

Speaking of dating accidents…

If one of your main concerns with dating is avoiding a certain category of accidents by keeping your libido in check, look no further than our hot topic page dedicated to purity.