Begin the Year with a Fresh Perspective on Dating (Dating 101)
Are you trouble-shooting a dating life that hasn’t generated the results you had hoped for?
What if the problem isn’t your process:
- dating vs. courting
- online vs. old fashioned
- long-distance vs. local singles group
- coffee date
- creative date
- speed dating
- slow dancing
- blind dating
- deaf dating
What if it’s your perspective?
It’s hard to succeed at anything with the wrong perspective.
Or perhaps your dating life hasn’t yet begun?
GREAT! That means you have the chance to begin dating with the right perspective from the get-go and so avoid the pitfalls to which many succumb.
Regardless of your situation, here are four fresh perspectives on dating that could make this the year your relationship life takes a turn for the better.
Date Because You’re Called
How different would your relationship life be if you dated because you knew you were called? I don’t mean, because someone called you and asked you out. I mean, what if you dated because you sensed a calling to pursue a relationship where you would partner with another human being in a life-giving, life-long marriage?
No, I don’t mean we wait until we know someone is the person we will marry before we date them (although, many love birds believe they know from day one). The idea is that you date only once you know you are ready to start pursuing marriage as a life goal. Then dating becomes part of the process by which you discern God’s will.
Want a bigger picture about what this would entail? Read this post.
Date Like No One’s Doing It
A lot of people long to date, because they feel like everyone’s doing it.
Of course, what’s funny about that is they aren’t. Indeed, fewer and fewer people are dating, as hanging out and hooking up is so much easier. And since dating has lost all sense of purpose, you might as well go with easy.
That said, do you know what would be fun? Even better, know what would be totally cool?
Instead of aspiring to join some herd of mindless daters on the other side of the fence, grazing in the fields of aimless relationships, what if you determined to do something truly adventurous?
How about taking this dumb reason to date – everyone’s doing it – and turning it on its head?
Why don’t you date like no one’s doing it?
What might that look like, you ask? Here’s a start.
Date to Make Friends
Most people think of dating as something you do. It could be as mundane as dinner and a movie, or as exotic as a trip to Rome, Italy (or Georgia). Regardless, the focus is on the experience or the activity.
But with a friendship paradigm, your date isn’t centered around what you’re doing or where you’re going, it’s centered around who you’re with. It’s not experience-oriented. It’s relationship-oriented.
Further, it fits with the reality that unless you’re going with arranged marriage, you have to take your dating life one date at a time. You can’t expect to know if you’re going to marry someone after only one date… or two… or three….
But you can expect to discover if that person is someone with whom you’d like to grow a friendship.
How could you better facilitate and keep this friendship focus? Focus on this post.
Date for the Adventure
How many girls date just because someone asked them? Or how many guys only ask a girl out, because they already had the heads-up that she would say “yes”? But that brings up this question:
Should dating be based on convenience and risk-avoidance?
What would dating look like if it were treated like an adventure; one characterized by confidence, honor, companionship and laughter; one offering challenge, purpose and a noble aim?
Did any of the four above perspectives on dating pique your interest? If so, be sure to click on the hyperlinks that interest you.
Catch a vision for dating that might not only change the outcome of this new year, but could change your entire life. And then be sure to keep coming back each week for more Date Night Advice. Our next two weeks will feature our TOP10 most read posts of 2015 and then we’ll continue our Dating 101 series offering more perspective to rock your dating life.
Speaking of vision: imagine a world where the church is equipped to empower the wise individual to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE they fall in love. Consider a tax-deductible donation to Future Marriage University!
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!