Are You Already Married… to Porn?

Know what probably saved me from a serious porn addiction?

The internet.

You see, the internet wasn’t around in my teens and 20s when my hormones were raging like a mad bull in heat. So I couldn’t get ready access with complete anonymity. And that was my salvation.

But if you’re in your teens or 20s today, the existence of internet porn in these formative years may be why you do have a serious porn addiction.

Of course, the internet doesn’t make us sin. It just makes it easier.

Far easier.

But freedom is possible. I’m not the only one who’s found it. And sometimes the allegorical kick we need in the proverbial pants, is simply to understand what porn is doing to us. How it’s impacting us. It sure motivated me to break free.

On that note, the purpose of this post is to suggest that just maybe one of the things porn is doing to you right now is destroying your chance at ever enjoying a life-giving, life-long marriage. Because in the vast majority of the world today it’s still the case that…


You can only marry one person at a time, and if you’re spending a significant amount of time with porn it’s a good bet you’re already married to it.


Not legally married, but dedicated to it and dependent on it none the less.

Love, Honor and Cherish

The traditional marriage vows promise we will love, honor and cherish our spouse. And that’s precisely what we do with porn when we choose it over relationships with real people, be it your spouse, roommate, family, co-workers or friends.

I’ll go ahead and admit, as I have in this space before, I loved porn. Hardly anything made me feel like it did.

And late at night when I should have been honoring my need to work, or sleep or pray (that I would not enter temptation, for instance), I honored porn instead. I would invest hours honoring it.

And I cherished it too. I would think about it throughout the day. Looking forward to the time when I could be with it again. I was even ritualistic about preparing for our time and then guarding that time. Making sure we could be alone together, just me and porn, so I could give porn my undivided attention.

Can you see how this doesn’t work out well for a married man?

Can you see how it won’t work out well for you either, even if you’re not married?


If you’re happy with porn, I understand the feeling. It’s quite a charmer, but it won’t stay faithful to you. It’s not in porn to love, honor or cherish you. It doesn’t even know you. And mark my words: if you keep trusting porn one day it’ll betray you.


Of course, if all you needed in life was sexual release, then I suppose you could do without the love, honor and cherishing part. But I think you know you were made for more. And more is what this post is offering you.

Do you suspect that you may already be married to porn?

If so, there’s help! You can check out our Hot Topic page dedicated to freedom from porn, but I also hope you’ll check out this 2-part series I wrote for Covenant Eyes:

Or if you prefer watching over reading, don’t miss our LoveEd series, How Porn Will Keep You Single, on our FMU YouTube channel.




DNA: It’s What’s For Dating

Dug this weekend’s Date Night Advice (DNA)? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.

Want to grow beyond our DNA blog?

Our LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to grow spiritually and date wisely, so you can marry well.

This discipleship series is NOT for couples, but for the wise individual who wants to prepare for their future marriage like a successful career: intentionally, intelligently and IN ADVANCE!

This discipleship series is NOT about dos and don’ts. It’s about learning the life lessons, mastering the life disciplines, and making the life decisions necessary for relational success.

Check out all three study guides. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.

Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!

Categories: Learn from My Mistakes, PORN