Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 4)

Discussion Questions:

Chapter 7: Are You Guilty of Relational Malpractice?

  1. Why are we tempted to ditch our friends when we’re in a serious romantic relationship?
  2. Why is ditching your friends for your dating life actually self-destructive?
  3. How could you invite and involve your friends in your dating life?
  4. Might you be guilty of idolizing romantic/sexual love? Why or why not? What’s the evidence?

Chapter 8: You Get What You Prepare For

  1. What do you think about the suggestion to spend less of your dating life watching movies and television and more of your dating life talking about your favorite movies and shows?
  2. How should the reality that shared experiences can make you feel closer without actually growing you closer impact how you date?
  3. How has cell phone use positively impact your relationships (dating or otherwise)? How has it negatively impacted them?
  4. How has this chapter changed or confirmed the way you feel about flirting?
  5. Which of the dating ideas near the end of the chapter appealed to you? Which didn’t? What other creative dating ideas (do you have/have you tried) to foster greater and deeper conversation?

Chapter 9: Who Are You Going to Trust with Your Heart?

  1. What personal convictions do you hold that your date would need to hold as well?
  2. What convictions have you held in the past, but question today, or no longer hold? How does that impact the important relationships you have with important family, friends, and mentors?
  3. Are you more inclined to be legalistic or compromising? How should that reality guide you in dealing with your convictions in your dating life?
  4. Have you ever been pressured to violate your convictions on a date? How did you handle that? Is there anything you would have done differently if you could do it over again?

Chapter 10: The Chapter That’s All About Sex

  1. Reflecting on (Proverbs 7:6-10) what is difference between following logic vs. following legalism in avoiding sexual temptation?
  2. When Jesus states that lust is as sinful as adultery in Matthew 5:27-28, how does this expand (and clarify) how God regards sexual activity, sexual purity, and sexual sin?
  3. What does 1 Corinthians 6:12 indicate is the goal of setting boundaries?
  4. How should the belief that sexual arousal is natural and good, while sexual sin (as natural as it may be) is  destructive, impact the way you date?
  5. What would it cost you to keep your dating life out in the open, and what would you stand to gain?
  6. What other boundaries could you set that would 1) eliminate the opportunity for sexual sin, 2) work with the nature of sexual temptation, 3) keep you from reprogramming your sex drive, and 4) allow you to focus on relational intimacy?

Video Resources:

For more fun and thoughtful perspective on flirting, watch our LoveEd series, How to Flirt like a Christian.

For more insight regarding your boundaries being established on logic and not legalism, check out this MAN2MAN memo from the playlist, Living a Life of Honor. It’s speaking directly to men (and it’s also intentionally dubbed like a old-school King Fu movie), but there is much for both genders to learn from this.

For more on Jesus words about adultery and lust, watch this episode from the LoveEd playlist, Premarital Sex & the Scriptures.

For more on how to set effective dating boundaries in light of the reality that sexual arousal is only natural between two people who are physically attracted to one another, watch this video from the LoveEd series, Hot Topics Handled with Care.

Finally, for a quick overview of the one single sex boundary to whoops-proof your dating life, watch these three videos:

Here are those three videos in the LoveEd playlist, Stuff You Should Know Before You Date: