Date Like You Know/DatePrep (week 5)

Discussion Questions:

Chapter 11: A Friends-First Approach to Dating

  1. How would it change your perspective of God’s will if you sought to follow a person (Jesus) instead of just following a set of principles (the law)?
  2. Are you naturally more of a law-keeper who just wants to get good grades or a law-lover who wants to actually learn the material? What’s the evidence?
  3. When it comes to relationships, do you struggle more with being intentional yourself or with a lack of intentionality on the part of those you’re in relationship with?
  4. What are specific ways it would it change your dating life if you sought to invest in your date, instead of impress them?

Chapter 12: Ten Fresh Perspectives on Dating to Change Your Relationship Life

  1. How have you seen the warning of Proverbs 29:18 apply in the modern dating world?
  2. If you believe you are called to marriage, what are some specific ways that should impact the way you date?
  3. How should the reality that marriage isn’t about sex, but sex is about marriage and marriage is about relationship impact how you approach dating and marriage?
  4. If you believe God has told you who you will marry early in a dating relationship (or even before), what should you do? What should you not do? Why
  5. With 1 Peter 2:9-12 as your inspiration, brainstorm creative ways you could date like no one’s doing it.
  6. How does the perspective that marriage is the goal, but not the purpose of your dating life change the way you approach and enjoy each date?
  7. What do you think about the idea of giving love a chance to grow out of a close friendship, instead of seeking to fall in love or get someone to fall in love with you?
  8. Have you ever been guilty (or the victim) of bait-and-switch dating?

Chapter 13: Casting a Vision for Your Dating Life

  1. How would viewing your dating life as a grand adventure instead of a series of opportunities change the way you approached approached dating? How would it change the way you endured trials and disappointments?
  2. If you believed God wanted to change the world for the better through your future marriage, how would that impact the way you date? What if you believed God wanted to change the world for the better through your very dating life?
  3. How could seeking to “wash the feet” of everyone you date change the way you approached dating?
  4. How could understanding and seeking to meet your need for non-romantic relationships, impact the way you approached dating relationships?

Chapter 14: How to Know If You Are Right for Each Other

  1. When it comes to romantic interests, do you tend to analyze the facts or your feelings? And how reliable does your analysis tend to be?
  2. How can grasping the reality that feelings are always real, but not always right effect the way you process and act on your feelings?
  3. What safeguards do you need to put in place to keep you from falling for the lies of limerence: 1) you have never felt this way before, 2) no one else has ever felt this way before, and 3) this is fate?
  4. How can infatuation keep you from getting to know someone, as it deadens your need to get to know them?
  5. How can you avoid the temptation to merely suppress your feelings, and intentionally set out to supplant feelings with facts?
  6. How should the economic principle of opportunity cost impact how much physical intimacy you seek out in your dating life?
  7. When it comes to dating, do you doubt God’s will, and if so do you tend to doubt the goodness, the wisdom, or the sovereignty of His will?
  8. How can remembering God’s faithfulness in the past, help you trust Him so you’ll more consistently surrender your dating life to Him and obey His will?

Video Resources:

Watch these videos from for more perspective on dating with intentionality and an investment mindset.

  1. Date Like You Mean It
  2. Dating. What’s Intentionality Got to Do with It?
  3. A Date is a Terrible Thing to Waste
  4. Drop the Mask and Date

Here are all of them together in our LoveEd playlist, Purpose Driven Dating.

Then for an overview of all 10 of the fresh perspectives on dating to change your relationship life, watch our LoveEd series, Dating 101.