Date Prep (week 7)

Discussion Questions:

Chapter 18: Define the Person Before You Define the Relationship

  1. Which of the questions about reputation stood out to you and why?
  2. How would you fare personally if someone were gauging your reputation using the questions in this chapter?
  3. How does your online image differ from real life? Why?
  4. What’s the problem with wanting to be someone’s source of life transformation? What’s behind this desire?
  5. Which of the questions about character stood out to you and why?
  6. How would you fare personally if someone were gauging your character using the questions in this chapter?
  7. Which of the dangers of focusing on common interests stood out to you and why?
  8. What’s the difference between trying to make a relationship work and seeking to find out if it can work?
  9. Which of your interests are more identity defining? Which are ones you could give up for the right person?
  10. Have you ever been guilty of (or the victim of) identity theft?

Chapter 19: Why You Don’t Have Time to Make Out on a Date

  1. What did you learn from the differing dating patterns of the frisky kittens and the conscientious cats?
  2. What are the differences between feeling closer and actually being closer, and how can you discern the difference in your dating relationships?
  3. What is the difference between a value and a conviction?
  4. Write out a list of your core convictions you know you should never compromise for any relationship.
  5. How could you hold yourself accountable to holding to your convictions?
  6. Which compatibilities strike you as particularly important? Which strike you as unimportant?
  7. How is sexual compatibility a red herring and what is the goal the preoccupation with sexual compatibility will distract you from?
  8. As wise as it can be to seek compatibility in the person you’re considering living with for the rest of your life, what are wrong motives for desiring compatibility? And what are the limits to compatibility?

Chapter 20: Calling, Chemistry, and Commitment

  1. Why does the pursuit of physical intimacy so often overwhelm and derail the pursuit of relational intimacy?
  2. How can you tell if you’re pursuing God’s call on your life, or just your own dreams?
  3. What sense (if any) do you have of God’s call on your life? Have you had others who know and love you well affirm this call?
  4. How should the reality that chemistry can connect you but cannot keep you impact the way you date?
  5. Have you ever been guilty of pulling the “commitment” card in a relationship? Or have you had it pulled on you?
  6. Why doesn’t cohabitation act as an effective method of discerning whether a couple should marry?
  7. How strong is your commitment in various areas of life: family, friends, church, studies, job? What’s the evidence?

Video Resources:

We haven’t yet made any videos summarizing the ten DTP talks, but watch this video from our LoveEd series, Purpose Driven Dating, for three date hacks to empower you to date without drowning in doubt.


Want some help in dating successfully? Make sure you aren’t the victim of any of the Love Assassins in this LoveEd playlist. A Love Assassin is a mindset that will stunt your social life and sabotage your ability to thrive in long-term, sacrificial relationships. Do you hold any of these mindsets? Like a trained assassin they’ll take out your dating life without you knowing what hit you!