Porn is like a virus.
That might explain why I was asked to speak on the topic of porn at the NARME 19 Summit (NARME stands for the National Association of Relationship and Marriage Education). Indeed, of all the workshops I proposed for this conference, only the one on porn, How Porn is Keeping Men from Marriage, was selected for the schedule.
Have you ever noticed how porn is like a virus?
Just asking the question brings to mind the observation Agent Smith made to Morpheus in the Matrix.
“Every mammal on this planet instinctively develops a natural equilibrium with the surrounding environment but you humans do not. You move to an area and you multiply and multiply until every natural resource is consumed and the only way you can survive is to spread to another area. There is another organism on this planet that follows the same pattern. Do you know what it is? A virus. Human beings are a disease, a cancer of this planet.” – Agent Smith, The Matrix
Of course, Agent Smith was wrong about humans. Viruses don’t develop cures for cancer or create art or or, for that matter, figure out how to actually conserve the earth’s resources even as they consume them. But imagine if we paraphrased Agent Smith’s words to describe porn:
Porn moves into a human soul and it multiplies and multiplies until every natural sexual instinct is perverted.
But now I’m getting ahead of myself, because porn’s innate tendency to spread isn’t the first point of viral comparison to be made here in this post.
The Porn Virus Preys on our Weaknesses
Let’s start at the beginning, because before a virus can spread it first must infect, so the first way porn is like a virus is in exploiting our weaknesses.
A virus gets us while our defenses are down. And then it goes after the weakest cells in our body.
And that’s just what porn does.
No one looks in the mirror and says, ““I love myself. I love my life! I feel so blessed,” and then follows that up with the thought, “Honestly, the only thing which could make things any better would be to spend a few moments of my incredible life looking at pictures (or videos) of naked people I don’t know (many of whom are likely being exploited for my benefit).”
No. That’s not the way porn works.
Porn hits us while we’re weak; where we’re weak: when we’re hurt, lonely, bored, anxious, angry, tired, or discouraged.
We think porn will numb our hurt, fill our loneliness, cure our boredom, soothe our anxiety, appease our anger, or energize or encourage us.
And it can do all that!
For an insanely limited time.
And then we’re left with feelings of shame and self-loathing. If we can feel anything at all.
Can you relate to that? Then to heal from the viral influence of porn and prohibit repeat infections, you need to discover the specific weaknesses porn is attacking in your soul.
The Porn Virus is Present Everywhere!
The second way porn is like a virus is that it is everywhere. Which is why so many succumb.
Perhaps you’ve heard, our bodies are constantly coming into contact with viruses wherever we go, whatever we touch, whomever we interact with, but in most cases we don’t get sick because our immune system fights night and day to keep viruses from hijacking our body.
But in cold season, when flu viruses proliferate the most, almost anyone can fall ill. No matter how healthy.
However, sadly, porn is always in season. Always available. Always a click away.
You don’t even have to click. You don’t even have to look for it, because it is looking for you: 24-7.
So aggressive is the strain of virus known as pornography, it’s almost inevitable that most should come down with a bad case at some point in their lives.
Even more prolific than actual nudity is the general hyper-sexualization of our culture which breaks down our resistance to porn long before clothes start coming off.
Vigilant care is advised! Even a television series as tame as Stranger Things features numerous scenes designed to titillate and tease while they numb our senses to the sexual grooming which is taking place in our souls.
Are you aware of what I’m talking about?
If not, you might already be groomed! Regardless, if you want a soul that’s porn-virus-free you’ve got to beware of the influences which will cause you to fall to the porn influenza.
The Porn Virus Proliferates
Thirdly, going back to the Matrix quote, porn is like a virus in it’s tendency to proliferate in a person’s life.
Sure, I know some people look at porn every now and then and don’t seem much the worse for it. That is to say, pornography doesn’t seem to make them sick.
But many find its influence over the soul expands, almost exponentially: sucking more time and energy, requiring higher intensity for arousal, and taking up more mind space even when the victim of the porn virus isn’t actually engaging in pornographic viewing at the time.
This reality is why two great guys I know personally are in prison today. They didn’t start off looking at child pornography. Indeed, they would have been repulsed by it at first, but as porn’s influence in their lives expanded, it clearly infected their good sense.
Some see the arrest of child pornographers and think of them as different from us “good guys.” However…
Porn is like a virus which turns so called “good guys” (or girls) into “sickos,” just as assuredly as the flu can turn a healthy person into a miserable wretch who can’t get out of bed and can’t keep anything down.
Perhaps feel you’ve got the porn virus safely quarantined in your life right now. Why not eradicate it out of your life entirely then? I mean, if it’s not that big of a deal to you why not let it go? You might start by having a conversation with God about it.
On the other hand, do you feel like your porn infection is threatening to suck the very life out of you? Then don’t just have a talk with God about it, GET HELP! Just like you would if you were nursing a serious head cold you hadn’t been able to shake for years, in spite of self medication.
And that’s just it, no matter how bad, a viral flu generally passes on its own after a few days, but not the porn flu. It won’t just pass. It will persist until you meet it’s threat with a treatment plan up to the task.
If you truly want to be free and healthy, you can. Begin with the first video in our choosing freedom playlist on our FMUniversity YouTube channel. Or go right to our hot topic page dedicated to choosing freedom from porn.
DNA: It’s What’s For Dating
Dug this weekend’s DNA? Be a good friend and share with your friends on the social media platform of choice: Instagram, Youtube, Facebook, or Twitter.
The LoveEd discipleship series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE you fall in love!
It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. And would like to learn how to better build healthy relationships in the meantime.
Check out all three study guides in our store. You can walk through them on your own, but it’s more fun with friends (that and it kinda makes sense to grow in relational success in actual relationships with others), so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study.
Even better? And ask a rock star married couple you respect to lead it!
[updated: 7/10/19]
