TOP10 Things Sex has in Common with New Years
Well they keep dropping the ball in the same city every new year, so I don’t know why I shouldn’t reprise this Date Night Advice hit from last New Years.
#10: New York
New York. New Years. They both begin with “New” followed by a one-syllable “Y” word.
Perhaps that’s why so many find watching the ball drop in Times Square the epitome of New Year’s excitement.
NYC is also the metropolis where HBO filmed the series that put the sex in the city.
#9: Hype
Speaking of New Year’s Eve in Times Square, personally I don’t get it. Being stuck out on the street. All night long. In the freezing cold. Surrounded by strangers. Basically spending the evening as a homeless person. Only instead of sleeping on a grate you’re standing upright, shoulder-to-shoulder unable to move because there’s a million others joining you.
But it looks exhilarating on TV! And so does sex.
However, setting your heart on the Type-A sex propagandize in the media won’t help you enjoy the Type-B sex that marriage offers long term. In fact, it will make it very difficult to enjoy.
#8: Kisses
Many people like to begin the new year with a kiss.
Kissing is also the most common way for a sexual encounter to begin.
Of course, most consider a little making out to be innocent fun (emphasis on FUN!), but sexual arousal was never meant to be a mere recreational activity. Instead, sexual arousal is more like the beginning of a conversation your body always wants to finish.
#7: Bad Song Lyrics
What other song makes less sense than Auld Lang Syne?
Oh. That would be half the lust song… I mean “love” songs on pop radio.
Every Breath You Take from Sting sounds less like a love song and more like a warning from the NSA. LIl Wayne’s Bedrock throws Fred Flintstone under the old (foot-powered) bus. Then there’s those completely incomprehensible songs, like Gangnam Style. The only lyrics you can even make out are “Hey, Sexy Lady.” The rest sounds like Chinese or something. Speaking of the Orient, I think I’m Turning Japanese. I really think so.
#6: Alcohol
Though many honorable toasts will be made to the new year, many revelers just want to get wasted.
Though for some a glass of wine adds to the potential for romance, for others it will encourage them to give into sexual advances they never would have sober.
Indeed, alcohol is the most common date rape drug. So whether you’re celebrating the New Year or a new love, be wise and remember: all things are lawful, but not all things are profitable.
#5: Hope
There are few times when more people hold higher hopes for the future than the New Year. And there are few experiences for which more people hold higher hopes than sex.
Without consciously realizing it, many expect the right romantic/sexual relationship to complete them in a way that makes the most earnest hope for the new year look like vague optimism.
#4: Promises
Inspired by the aforementioned hope, we make New Year’s resolutions, but far more promises are made in regards to sex.
Some make empty promises just to “get some.” While others promise to wait until marriage, and many churches seem to imply (promise?) that, if you do so, an epic sex life awaits.
However, at the end of the day a promise without a plan is just a pipe dream, whether you’re wanting to lose weight or remain celibate. If you’re trying to accomplish the latter, consider this one single sex boundary that just might work!
#3: Anxiety
When your hope is greater than what is practically possible, the result is anxiety. When, out of that optimism, you make promises you can’t keep it compounds the stress.
You know what you want. You’ve seen it on TV and in the movies. When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, you want the body of a supermodel, so you determine to start working out. When it comes to sex, you want the body of a supermodel in bed with you (after you’ve married them, of course), so you determine to start dating (or courting or whatever).
But maybe you’ll never have a flat stomach no matter how many sit-ups you do. And maybe you’ll never enjoy Hollywood sex, even if you marry a movie star. Maybe you have the wrong goals.
#2: Timing is Everything
Flip the calendar whenever you like, but everyone knows that the new year doesn’t begin a minute before midnight on January 1.
In the same way, you can choose to engage in sexual activity whenever your passions dictate, but Jesus said it’s a sin to even fantasize about sex outside of marriage (Matt 5:27-28).
It’s almost as if He knew about the bonding power of sexual activity before neuroscientists could explain it. Believe what you will, you can’t change the nature of sex anymore than you can change the dimensions of time.
#1: Ring
As you ring in the new year, remember this: the privilege and responsibility of sexual intimacy is worthy of a wedding ring. To act otherwise is to demean both sex and marriage and, worse, to treat lightly the legacy you will leave to your future children.
If you’ve already failed the test, there is always forgiveness and freedom.
We wish you God’s very best in the New Year! If one of your goals is to wait until marriage to have sex, let me remind you of the words of my wife’s ex-boyfriend from high school, “True love doesn’t just wait. IT PREPARES!”
Why not change your goal from waiting for sex to preparing for marriage? See below for help. And click here for more things sex has in common with other things.
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The LoveEd study guide series, Beyond Sex & Salvation, will empower you to prepare for relational success when it counts: BEFORE YOU FALL IN LOVE! It’s NOT for couples, but for any wise individual who thinks they might want to get married sometime before they die. Check out the first two 8-lesson study guides in our store. You can walk through it on your own, but it’s more fun with friends, so consider putting together an FMU LoveEd small group study. Even better? And ask a married couple you respect to lead it!